party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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