the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
