Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
