I like my sex mixed with concussions.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
