Cold hands, warm shart.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
