im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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