I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
