Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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