Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
