when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Please don't give away my fajitas
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
