I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
