Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
