I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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