Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
