I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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