My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
this is an emotional support booty call
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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