Who did Billy Mays play for?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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