O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
