Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If I die, sorry about rent.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
