i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We are all done wearing pants today
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
