i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He shit in the fireplace
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
