Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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