So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
