never play flip cup with pint glasses
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
