just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
