His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
