everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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