"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
