awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
