babies were throwing up all over the place
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
try to milk me bitch
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
