Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
