I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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