Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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