You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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