This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
