So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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