Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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