And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How's work?
Spinning.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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