Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just pee around me
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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