id be glad to
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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