allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
