two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
