I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my sisters under your porch take her home
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
nutella sex= disaster
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
