he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
