yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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