i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
