I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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