I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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