Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
