im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
