So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
