I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
