Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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