I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
