She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
