A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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