And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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