The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
